The S.T.U.C.K. Method

Five Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being

Stuck on WHY? WHY?????


Last night I went out with several friends.

And when I left the house last night at 8 pm – just as my husband was walking in from work, my children were not yet asleep and I was already late to meet up with my friends – I was a little frazzled.

All I knew is that I was showered and dressed and had my phone with me.

The necessities.


The evening (a musical benefit raising money for a resident of a local community in need of assistance for alternative cancer treatments) was magical.

It really left me on a high and with a deep sense of gratitude – for my health, for the opportunity to go out, and for my friends.

And then I got home.

And tried to open the front door.

But, couldn’t.

Because it was locked.

And I looked into my hands and noticed I had no keys.

why“WHY?” I thought to myself.

“WHY would you lock the house knowing I wasn’t in it????” I whined to myself, directing my thoughts towards my husband.

In a state of blaming, I called his phone.

Ready to rant and rage.

But, couldn’t hear his phone ring from the other side.

It must have been turned off.

So, I called the house phone, which rang loud and clear.

But, he didn’t get up to answer it.

So, I started banging on the door.


To no avail.

But, lucky for me, I didn’t get stuck in this place of judgment.

I Stopped.

Took a breath and told myself how I was feeling.

Besides frustrated, I found myself feeling totally sorry that I had to wake up my husband who was too exhausted from a long and hard work week to be able to go out with me tonight.

And, so my perspective changed.

Oy, I have to wake him up.


So, I continued to call the house phone and continued to bang on the front door and continued to call out his name, until I heard him coming to the door.

And instead of “WHY would you lock the house when you knew I wasn’t home?” coming out of my mouth….

“Sorry” did.

What? he responded.

“I’m sorry.”

And that was the end of it.

No fight.

No arguments.

No in the future lecturing.

And I returned to a place of gratitude.

For judgment that turned into compassion.


Author: Shira Taylor Gura

Well-Being Coach, Podcast Host, Author of the award winning book, Getting unSTUCK: 5 Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being.

3 thoughts on “Stuck on WHY? WHY?????

  1. Beautiful turnaround, Shira.

  2. So, so beautiful! Thank you. I just read this with my 8 year old daughter. A great lesson for all. Shabbat Shalom!

  3. Nicely done and shared. Thank you.

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