The S.T.U.C.K. Method

Five Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being

STUCK on All Of The Above

3 Comments

I haven’t written for a while.

One month and two days to be exact.

Which is a first for me ever since starting this blog, where I typically joyfully write one post per week.

But, I’ve been stuck.

And, haven’t processed it thoroughly.

Which is why I haven’t posted in the past month.

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all of the aboveI’ve been “stuck on all of the above”.

Q: Shira, what have you been stuck on during the last month?

1. Stuck on I’m a nobody (professionally).

2. Stuck on I’m in a mid-life crisis.

3. Stuck at a Crossroad.

4. Stuck on Trying to Figure Things Out.

5. Stuck on What’s Next?

6. Stuck on my Ego.

7. Stuck on All of the Above.

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I’m currently not working (my year-long attempt to start-up a small business, Yoga at Work, has ended in a lost cause).

Therefore, I’m not bringing in an income.

Which means I’m home a lot (cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids).

And lost in too many thoughts.

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And so, I compassionately process.

I stop (S) and take a breath.

And, tell (T) myself what I’m feeling.

Disappointed.

Guilt.

Frustration.

And, I check in honestly to see what may be underneath (U) all of these emotions.

1.  That, at the age of 40, I believe there are people in this world that may be disappointed in me that I have not become someone.  Having grown up in upper-middle class suburbia and having attended a high ranked high school and two universities, I believe the world expects me to be someone professionally. These feelings are coupled with my recent visit to the States where I reunited with high schools friends all of whom seem to have become someone.

Which I have not.

2.  That, I believe, it’s important that I bring in an income to my family.  No matter what I may be doing, I should be earning money.

Which I am not.

3.  That, I believe, it’s important how others view me.  That is, if I am earning money in a reputable job, then people will have more respect for me.

Which now they don’t.

4. That, I believe, having a profession is the most important thing to create meaning in one’s life.

Which I don’t have (both a profession nor meaning in my life).

***************

And miraculously, the moment I write all these thoughts down and really allow myself to feel these feelings, I can begin to watch them dissipate.

And realize that all of those feelings I was holding onto were just beliefs.

And not Truths.

I actually do not believe there are people in this world that are disappointed in me; and on the same breath can say with confidence that there are people in this world that are proud of who I am and what I’ve accomplished.

While I do believe earning an income (in general) is important (and often times necessary), in the current family situation in which I’m in now, I am in a fortunate place where I can say earning an immediate income is not a necessity.

If people are actually judging me on whether I have a job or not (or what that job may be), then quite frankly, I probably shouldn’t care to be their friend.

And, of course having a profession is not the most important thing to create meaning in one’s life.  (In fact, I could write a book on the things that have created meaning in my life and only a few of them would touch on profession.)

******************

And so, in this space, I can choose (C) another way of believing; another perspective.

Instead of negatively looking at my life with all the “I’m nots”, I can choose to look at where I am in my life right now with a sense of curiosity.

And allow myself to recognize (and be grateful for) the freedom which I have to just be in that space for the time being.

And perhaps gently notice if something is awaiting me.

Like open doors.

Or a certain calling that I have never heeded or explored.

With patience, time will tell.

And so, in the meantime, I just remind myself it’s ok (K) that I got Stuck on All of the Above in the first place.

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Author: Shira Taylor Gura

Well-Being Coach, Podcast Host, Author of the award winning book, Getting unSTUCK: 5 Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being.

3 thoughts on “STUCK on All Of The Above

  1. Hi shir as soon as your “stuck” blog comes in on my email.. I love to stop what I am doing (if I can) to read it. Thank you for sharing with me. I still have to look at your family schedule so I know we can skype or maybe you and I can talk on the phone soon? Love, me

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. Hi Shira…you have always been an inspiration to me….you have so much to be thankful for in your life…I read your blog several times and understand that we all go through periods in life when we feel that way…it’s only temporary…..this , too, shall pass. Love, Arlene

    • Thanks, Arlene. You’re an inspiration to me, too, for so many reasons. Yes, I have tons to be thankful for, you are right. And, yes, thank G-d for impermanence!!!

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