STUCK on Feeling SHAMEFUL

February 4, 2014 by Shira Gura 6 Comments

This morning, I woke up with my next post in mind: “STUCK on NOT BEING PUBLICLY ACKNOWLEDGED” (when it seemed that everyone else was, and I deserved to have been!).

Yet, before I started to write, I checked my email.

And, received one from my mother who shared with me and my siblings the sad news of the loss of an old high school friend of mine.

The sister of my classmate.

The daughter of my parent’s good friends.

A wonderful person who battled cancer.

“Someone who was dealt a shitty hand, faced it with grace and humor, fought like a warrior, and refused to wallow even once in 11 years,” wrote a friend on her Facebook page this morning.

Someone who will be remembered for her “beaming positive energy,” wrote another.

An “enthusiastic” person.

An “incredibly special” person.

Taken away way, way too young.

And, suffered way, way too much.

But even now that she is resting in peace, the suffering doesn’t end.

Her two loving sisters and parents, her hometown community, her college friends, her colleagues…

Even her friends in Israel…

Are all suffering.

And will continue for quite a while.

And, here I am feeling shameful.

For this blog.

Truly.

For the triviality of it.

For getting stuck on such ridiculous things….

While others in the world are really suffering.

I couldn’t get it out of my mind.

Maybe I should just terminate this blog, I thought to myself, and turn it into a personal journal instead and save people from reading about such mundane matters.

I just couldn’t get it out of my mind… how shameful I felt for sharing such frivolous matters with the world.

As if the world doesn’t have enough of its own problems.

***********

While being stuck on all of this, I received another email.

From one of my blog followers:

Thanking me for my blog.

And telling me that he is incorporating the “S.T.U.C.K.” techniques into his life.

And even shared with me a recent encounter he had with a family member and how he was able to get “unstuck” because of what he’s learned from my blog.

*********

The juxtaposition of these two events this morning seemed like an act of synchronicity for me.

So, I took a few moments and just sat.

And noticed the feeling of shameful.

And out of that came another perspective.

That it’s o”K” to share my experiences with others.

It’s even more than OK.  It’s helpful and appreciated.

Even during a time of someone else’s loss or hurt or pain or suffering, I can still blog to the world,

and share my everyday experiences about getting “stuck”…

with the hopes that it may make the world a better place.

Which is probably what Lindsey would have wanted me to do anyway.