The S.T.U.C.K. Method

Five Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being

STUCK on RESPONDING AUTOMATICALLY

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We all do it.

Someone…

a family member, a neighbor, a child…

Says something that just irks you to the core.

And you respond.

Automatically.

Because you, I, are just stuck

On responding…

On reacting…

automatically.

Which ultimately tends to leads us to places we’d rather not be in.

And, yet, somehow, we feel powerless over that gut, knee-jerk reaction…

As if we have no control over it.

Yet, we do.

*****

Over this past week, I came to realize the enormous value in the letter “S” of the acronym “S.T.U.C.K.”

STOP.

Just STOP.

So when your family member, or neighbor, or child,

says something to you that irks you to the core,

you will just pause.

And in that moment, something may potentially happen.

Perhaps the pause will allow them to realize that their words were:

misdirected,

misguided,

obnoxious,

arrogant,

disrespectful

out of context,

hurtful,

or just plain rude

OR

Perhaps the pause will allow you to realize that their statement wasn’t meant to be

misdirected,

misguided,

obnoxious,

arrogant,

disrespectful

out of context,

hurtful,

or just plain rude.

You see, the simple pause may allow for endless possibilities.

The chance for the other person to realize his/her mindless speech.

The chance for you to not get resentful or angry.

The chance for compassion.

The chance to find some truth (some truth!) in what was said.

pause

Either way, we must not underestimate the power of pausing.

At the minimum, it could save a conversation.

At the maximum, it could save a relationship.

As Mark Twain said, “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

*************

So, how do we do this?

How do we incorporate pausing into our lives, when the most natural instinct we have as humans is to respond?

By purposefully stopping on a regular basis.

Call it what you may: stopping, sitting, meditating.

It doesn’t matter.

It’s just the intentional practice of forcing ourselves to stop,

each day,

for a predetermined amount of time.

It’s simple, but it’s not easy.

And, it’s value is way overlooked.

You should try it.

And, before you dismiss this invitation,

STOP.

And, in that space,

see what arises.

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Author: Shira Taylor Gura

Well-Being Coach, Podcast Host, Author of the award winning book, Getting unSTUCK: 5 Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being.

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