The S.T.U.C.K. Method

Five Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being

STUCK on CRYING

1 Comment

I got insulted today.

To the point that I cried.

For a long time.

crying_baby

But, because of the sensitivity of this blog (it’s all about me, my family/friends, or people in my community) and my intention of striving to not do any “Lashon Ha-rah” (the Hebrew term derogatory speech),  I really won’t go into details.

The truth is, I don’t really even need to go into details.

The conversation that was had is not the point of this post.  But, rather what I did with it.

OK, I cried.  You know that already.

And, as I walked home, all puffy-eyed and emotional after that conversation, a fellow community member called me to consult with me about purchasing something for the committee that I sit on.

I lost it.

I balled to her and shared the conversation with her which led to “Lashon Ha-rah”, which I intended not to do in the first place.

Agh.

Then, I went to wash the dishes.

And, all the while, I was putting down the person who caused me to cry.  “How dare he say that?”  “He doesn’t know anything!” “Who does he think he is?”  And on and on.

And then, I thought of this blog and reminded myself of the acronym S.T.U.C.K. and how it could help me with this emotional ordeal.

So, I “S”topped.  I just stood still for a few moments and took a breath.  I already started to feel better.

Then, I “T”old myself what I was feeling… angry, insulted, insulted, insulted, insulted.

Then, I checked if there was anything “U”nderneath all of this.  Yes, there was.   My feeling that this person had little time/experience in this community to have spoken to me the way he did.

“C”hoice was the best part.  I realized that I had a choice in this matter. I could either:

a) continue to cry, share the story with others, do a lot of “Lashon Ha-rah”, make myself right and make him wrong, etc. OR

b) consider what he said, consider perhaps some truth in what was said, and perhaps even take his suggestion as something that would be a better alternative for me (and, in turn, my family).

And, I decided to choose the latter.

Recognizing that as important and necessary it is that people in our small community volunteer their time to the community, I can still be involved, but on a different level that I had been for the past year.  That perhaps, the role that I took on, wasn’t really the best fit for me (perhaps now, or even ever), but that there are certainly other roles that I could fill well.  Acknowledging that if I left my role, the community would not fall apart and that someone else will fill it.

Realizing that this conversation, was perhaps, a blessing in disguise and the best gift that landed in my lap this year.

I patted myself on the back when I said to myself, “it’s o’K'” that you got stuck on crying (and being insulted).  It happens to all of us.

And how proud I felt (with such little effort and in such little time), that I was able to transform myself from being distraught, agitated, and hysterical to being intentional, calm, and clear-minded.

S.T.U.C.K. saved my day today.

And, I am grateful.

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Author: Shira Taylor Gura

Well-Being Coach, Podcast Host, Author of the award winning book, Getting unSTUCK: 5 Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being.

One thought on “STUCK on CRYING

  1. hi – thank you for sharing your struggles to mindfully manage your reaction and ultimately and consciously choose a response. I so appreciate and respect your willingness to be vulnerable as you share these stories. Your blog absolutely helps me keep mindfulness front and center when my own feelings come up so strongly in response to some situation. Like yesterday! As I worked my way through my own tears, I noticed myself thinking, “Are you stuck in the muck?” Yea Shira!!

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