The S.T.U.C.K. Method

Five Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being



clairty“Meditation.  It’s not what you think.”

After writing my last post about the interaction I had with two 8 -year old boys who, I believe, were were stuck on aversion, I felt compelled to clarify the philosophy of being stuck on a branch.

Actually, I’ll start with being mindful.

I see it as a two-leveled:

1) Intentionally practicing to be present;

2) And, when you get to that place (which is not very easy, mind you!), being non-judgmental (at least for a brief moment!).

Being stuck on a branch basically means you are blind to the Truth of the present moment because you are too preoccupied with judging it.

The process of getting unstuck (starting with awareness of being stuck in the first place) leads one to become a more compassionate and ultimately, happy human being.

This is how I see it, for adults at least.

As for children, I’m still trying to figure that out.

And, would be all ears thoughts on this.

Can we teach children mindfulness?

Aren’t children present by nature?  Or, at least more present than we are as adults?

How do we teach children to realize when they get stuck?

Should we?




Author: Shira Taylor Gura

Well-Being Coach, Podcast Host, Author of the award winning book, Getting unSTUCK: 5 Simple Steps to Emotional Well-Being.

4 thoughts on “STUCK on CLARITY and a QUESTION

  1. Hey.
    I think adults can learn mindfulness from children. Children become less mindful by observing (and being governed by?) adults and by schooling. That’s what I think anyway. Might be wrong.
    When children are stuck? Hmm. Surprise them? Do something they are definitely not expecting. Help them to see that it is merely their own way of looking at things that keeps them stuck. Repeated experience of unsticking yourself creates a repeatable habit?

  2. Thanks, Don, for replying. Adults can absolutely learn mindfulness from children! No doubt about that one! I’ll give you an example of when my kids are “stuck” and see if you have any ideas on what to do with it. For instance, I give each kid a plate of cookies (let’s say, there are 3 on each plate), and one kids cries out, “I want more!”. This is an example (in my eyes) of a kid getting stuck. Instead of being present and enjoying what he has, he’s stuck on judging how many cookies he has. Typically, if I say, “Eat what you have and I’ll give you more,” it just doesn’t do it. And, that’s just one example. What about angry (at his sibling or friend)? Or, frustrated that he can’t build/do something? The list goes on. I’m really interested to hear what people think about this and how we can/should? work with children around this. Thanks!

    • As a parent I feel like I make so many mistakes. Occasionally I find something that works but recalling it at the crucial time is the trick!
      When a child is angry or frustrated it sometimes helps, I think, to take note of their body language and then describe it back to them, using a conversational tone. “Oh, I see you are hugging that pillow there, hoping it will protect you from a telling off and that it will let you know that everything is OK. It must be a magic pillow.” Usually this approach works, presumably because the child is (a) forced to see that their emotions and thoughts are quite alarmingly visible through their body language and (b) forced to see their behaviour from the outside (not from inside themselves).
      Of course this never solves the original problem (Tommy broke my toy or Sarah has a bigger cookie that me) but the original problem often evaporates after a change of mindset like this. What do you think?

      • Yes, the change in mindset is the key, both for children and for ourselves. The problem is the inability to see it at that very moment, because instead, the child/you/I very much want to stay in the emotion we are feeling. It serves us in that moment. Anyway, I’m working on ideas for a book and if something comes of it, I’ll let you know! Thanks for following my blog and responding, too!

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